Since the last post, on the medical front the only pieces of news to report are 1) a follow-up/check-in call from the colorectal nursing team, and 2) a call with the Macmillan support officer to discuss my non-medical issues and needs. The former was another conversation about everything seemingly heading in the right direction post-surgery. Interest continues in all things bowel related, and it remains oddly pleasing to hear enthusiasm from complete strangers when I describe my toilet habits. I might as well milk this one for all it's worth, since I presume this has a finite lifespan. Being somewhat more serious, I did also get some feedback concerning the biopsy of the colon mass. The nurse advised that the mass had not breached the colon wall: this was a concern raised previously by the consultant, with the observation that a tumour breaking into the stomach cavity, and having free-rein to go wherever was decidedly not a good thing. She also advised that the spread appeared to have reached 5 of 13 lymph nodes. This news was more so-so. Given my staging it was highly unlikely I would return a score of nil, but hopefully the 5 impacted are the crappy pointless ones that I don't need. We'll see.
In advance of the call with the Macmillan worker I had received a checklist of items that needed to be considered to assess my overall holistic needs. It covered all aspects of life, from a non-medical perspective, including mobility around the house, ability to complete a whole range of day to day tasks, concerns about work, family, friends, finances, and also any concerns with spirituality. I must confess I worked down the list and mentally ticked off "no relevant concerns" to pretty much all. I almost felt a fraud taking up the person's time even discussing it. I am now pretty mobile, can take care of myself, have superb support as and when I need it (from family, from friends, and from my employer), and have nothing that particularly keeps me up at night. That said, I decided to approach the call with an honest and open mind. I will concede that if I had had the conversation a month or 2 ago, when I was a petrified, blubbering wreck, that it would have been a wholly different affair. As it was, the lady was lovely. I told her my story, admitted that I had been through some very dark times, and had been mentally shot to pieces, but that with the help of my wife, family, friends, colleagues, random strangers and all the people at the hospital (pretty much you lot reading this blog, in all honesty), I was in a much, much better place. She urged me to keep in touch, even if I needed to just rant to someone, and I am sure I will (keep in touch, not rant, that is).
I don't know how many of you reading have had any contact with Macmillan in your lives. It would be too much to hope none of you, since cancer in all its forms is pervasive. I told the lady my own experiences, which included their offers of help to my mum when she was ill, but also an oddball interaction in, all of places, Paris. I was running the Paris marathon in 2016, and had spotted (well, had been passed by) various participants running in Macmillan vests as charity fundraisers. I did manage to catch up one of them, and ran alongside her, explained how much I appreciated the charity's help, how I thought them a great organisation, and wished her well. We ended up running side by side for a bit, shedding a few tears. I did spot the same woman at the end, and sorta-regret not barging over to her and congratulating her on her finish, but there we go. What I am getting at, in a terribly roundabout way, is that they are an organisation that deserve recognition and support. The work they do makes a huge difference to people's lives at a time those people need it most. I also know that there are many, many other fantastic charities, big and small, well promoted and not-so-much, national and local, that do similar work. When people ask what they can do to help and support me, one of those things would be to go do something good for a charity near you. Someone somewhere will be positively impacted by your actions.
Last Friday I made another visit to the support group in Bath. This time my sister joined me. We arrived to a busy café, and I scanned the room for a familiar face to no avail. I sent an email to my contact to check if they were there, and then had a scroll through the "meet the team" section of their webpage. At the same time I spotted a lady stood up, on the phone, similarly scanning the room for someone. I managed to call snap first and we went over and introduced ourselves. Like last time it was a no-pressure chat about cancer and non-cancer stuff, and I did get some more information on diet and nutrition, and realised I have a long way to go to be considered as eating properly. My sister had to leave and a bit later my wife popped in to collect me. At that point I was chatting to a married couple, the wife being the one undergoing treatment. She asked me my story. She was surprised when I noted that unfortunately I was not the carer, rather I was the person with stage 4, possibly incurable, bowel cancer. That's another thing I have learned: you can't easily spot the sick person, looks can be very deceiving.
This past week we had the milestone of our 20th wedding anniversary. Before 13 March we had had plans of a big party to celebrate with friends and family. Given current circumstances the decision was made to scale it all back somewhat. But, since it was a landmark year, we should do something. The plan was for an open house over the weekend and some friends and family would stop by as and when. Indeed, those who couldn't make the weekend came by before and after. It didn't matter to us, was just lovely to see people when they could. It was decidedly not a rock and roll all-nighter, but it did afford the chance to pay another visit to a nearby cider farm to stock up, and we dragged photo albums out of storage to the amusement of many.
Coming up in a few days is my meeting with the oncologist to find out what's planned next for me. So hopefully there should be some meaningful update in the next post.