A friend of my wife had connected me with a cancer support group in Bath. He had done some work with them, and recommended the organisers as good people to meet. As such, I decided to wait until my consultant meeting and attend, armed with what I hoped would be treatment details. As with many things on this journey, that didn't quite go to plan, and I was now attending with somewhat worse news.
Friday morning I drove over to Bath and parked up, and wandered up to venue (a cafe). I found the place, paused, and walked back up to corner. At this point I was wavering, and seriously thought about bailing on the whole thing. However, I plucked up the courage and walked in. The place was rammed, and I had only a vague recollection of the person I was looking for. I looked around lost for a bit since there was no helpful sign directing me to Cancer Corner. I ordered a coffee and asked the barista if he knew, and he pointed out the table. I went over and then spotted the organiser, introduced myself and joined them. Thankfully it was not like attending an AA meeting, and I didn't have to start with "Hi, I'm me and I have cancer."
To put the previous comment about my lack of touchy-feelyness in perspective, I am as touchy-feely as a lion fish, and as comfortable in group situations as a polar bear. Walking up cold to a group of strangers, let alone talking to them, is not my thing. I am happy to report there was no standing in a circle holding hands, no singing "Kum ba yah", no group trust exercises etc., rather a bunch of people, all individually impacted with a fairly shitty stage in life, looking out for one another.
I did tell them my backstory, right up to the news of yesterday, and I quickly felt comfortable with the whole thing. A few more people dropped in during the morning, all with their own story to tell. I think there were 7 others in total, 6 being current or past cancer patients, and the 7th being someone dealing with multiple cases in his immediate family. Breast cancer was the commonest condition, which resulted in me hearing more talk about breasts than I have ever heard outside of a strip club. After being unsure about even coming through the door, I ended up spending 2+ hours there, and would certainly attend again once I am through surgery. The room obviously needed a serious dusting. I clearly had a bit in my eye when one lady said to me as she was leaving "I hope your surgery goes well, lovely to meet you, I hope to see you again here, and know we're all with you every step of the way".